23 Aug It is possible: making friends as an adult
In college, we made new friends with ease, as there were numerous intensely social environments in which to immerse ourselves. Dorms, fraternities/sororities, sports teams, clubs: if we wanted to be with people at any hour of the day or night, it was possible.
Upon graduation, though, this situation changed dramatically. Aside from work, an environment where it is hard to find people who resonate with you, the real world can be a lonely place.
How does one find happiness with a new pal in an environment where most people are busy chasing career goals or raising a family? We’ll explore this issue in detail below.
Join a group which shares your interests
People are social creatures: therefore, the most natural way to make friends at any age is to place yourself in an environment where you are surrounded by those who share your biggest passions.
If you love sports, join a recreational league. Passionate about hiking, or anime, or art? There’s a group on meetup.com that will put you in touch with fellow enthusiasts.
Once you are among like-minded humans, breaking the ice and getting others to lower their guard will be an easier task to achieve.
Host an event and invite members of your interest group
After several months of sharing laughs and good times with people whom you have built a rapport, move the socializing from the court, the trail, or the art house cinema to your backyard.
Organize a BBQ, and invite the whole group over. Poll the group to figure out the best time for the event, and then set a date and time.
Despite your best efforts, a good number won’t be able to make it for various reasons, but some will. Keep it simple: provide food, drinks, and music, and the rest will flow as you enjoy a delightful summer afternoon/evening on your back deck.
#1 key to making friends as an adult: be friendly, open-minded, and supportive
During the previously mentioned social interactions, how you conduct yourself will determine how easily you build bonds with members of your interest group.
If you behave in a standoffish, closed-minded, and judgmental manner, it will be difficult to find your way into the inner circle of people you are trying to befriend.
However, if you are genuinely warm, understanding, and supportive when the people in your group are having a bad day, they will appreciate these gestures.
As a result, they will be far more likely to reciprocate when you are in need, and they will be more willing to hang out with you when their life permits.
Rekindle older friendships
While time has the nasty habit of pulling friendships apart, a concerted effort can at least partially rejuvenate what was once there.
Rebuilding an old friendship, while not always possible, has a great chance of succeeding due to the history which already exists between the two of you.
Start by writing them a detailed e-mail or Facebook message apologizing for the lack of contact over the years, and ask about what has been going on in their lives.
After an initial exchange, if there’s an opportunity to cross paths in the near future, seize it and meet up for a meal, drinks, or even just a coffee.
Often, you’ll find that you’ll pick up where you left off, even if many years have passed since you last saw each other.